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Ten Ways to Raise a Child with High Emotional Intelligence

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10 Ways To Raise A Child With High Emotional Intelligence.

Would you like to have a child who can deal with his positive and negative emotions in a healthy and constructive manner, who has good social skills and is an understanding and empathic listener? Then you need to raise a child with a high EQ or Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence, more commonly known as EQ, is the awareness and ability to manage one's emotions in a healthy and productive manner.
For many parents, figuring out how to deal appropriately with our children's feelings is difficult. When we are faced with an angry toddler, a frightened child or a screaming infant, few of us know what to do.

To complicate matters, some of us grew up in families where feelings were suppressed and open, honest dialogue was discouraged.

So how can you then teach your children to become emotionally literate? Here are 10 strategies to help you to do just that.

1. Respect your child's feelings. You need to realize that all your child's feelings are important, regardless of how difficult they are to deal with.

2. Label your child's feelings. Look for opportunities to teach your child the appropriate names for the feelings that he is experiencing.

3. Share your own feelings with your children. Be careful not to use your children as confidantes for difficult and conflicting emotions that you are experiencing, but at the same time let them see that you are human and have feelings too.

"I feel really sad that Aunt Suzie passed away. I miss her very much and that's why I'm crying."

4. Become a role model for trying to deal with feelings in an appropriate way. If you rant and rave when you are angry then your children will learn to do the same when they are angry.

5. Acknowledge your child's feelings. Stay in close proximity to your child as he shares his feelings and offer to touch or hold him if appropriate.

6. Listen to your child's feelings and reflect them back to him.

"You sound really sad. Do you want to talk about it?" or "You seem delighted with your new kitten."

7. Allow your child time to work through his feelings. Resist the temptation to rush in and fix whatever is ailing your child. This helps to build emotional resilience and your child will soon realize that negative emotions do fade and that he or she will feel better.

8. Always prioritize safety and set limits if necessary. Children need to be kept safe even in the midst of an emotional meltdown. You may need to firmly restrain your toddler who is throwing a tantrum or perhaps even move him to a safer environment.

9. All feelings are okay, but all behaviors are not. Children will often express strong negative emotions through inappropriate behavior, for example biting the new baby or breaking things when angry. This is when you need to step in and intervene. Stop the inappropriate behavior and suggest a more suitable outlet. "If you're really angry and want to throw something, you can throw these socks at the wall."

10. Get the help and support you need to deal with your own feelings in an appropriate way. In order for you to be a good role model for your child, you need to be able to express your own feelings in an appropriate way. This could be through writing in a journal, through talking to a friend or even a professional counselor....whatever works for you.

Emotional Intelligence is an important part of your child's development and the time and effort you spend helping your child to raise his EQ will pay off. Your child will be happier and more prepared to face the challenges that life will bring.

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